I am finally on the road (ha!) to completing one of my lifelong ambitions. I am learning to ride a motorbike. It’s taken me a while to get to it but I am determined pass. Then I intend to get on the road on a large(ish) machine. I will be the girl biker I always dreamed I would be. Err, ok, in my head I’ll be a girl, course, in reality I’m an old biddy on a bike but at least I’ll have achieved my dream some 35 years on.

I went out with a fair few bikers in my youth and hung around rocker pubs, headbanging the night away, drinking snakebite, snogging men with longer hair than me, who wreaked of patchouli oil. Those were the days! haha. I imagined myself rolling up at The Bull in Hornchurch (a great rocker pub) on my bike and removing my helmet and swishing my hair around Jaclyn Smith styley from Charlies Angels. Instead, my dad convinced me to get an Escort 1100. Pftttt not quite the same.

So, I did ride pillion a bit over the years but never took that step to get my own licence. I don’t really know why. About 15 years ago I tried to pass my CBT. I failed. The training centre I went to were horrible. The instructors were so full of their own self importance and ego, that they put me off for a long time.

Then, Mr Scubafee, decides he’d like to get another bike. He’s missing his Ducati. Well,  have you seen the pillion position on those things? No way, Jose! Only one thing for it, get me on mota-cicle! Mr Scubafee likes to push me to do things he knows I want to do but am too scared to.

So, here I am. I have passed my CBT and am now riding a 700 (admittedly restricted) so I can pass my full test and get myself a bike to roar around the country lanes of Essex on. Here’s me on the 700.  This is the most awesomest thing ever, and it makes me feel EPIC! Everyone should do it.

Me on the Yamaha 700

Me on the Yamaha 700


I am going to see Kate Bush in September 2014 and I can’t wait. I’ve been a lifelong fan ever since the first time I heard Wuthering Heights.

One of my favourite tracks by Kate is Susended In Gaffa . I could bore you numb by listing all of my favourites but I won’t ;).

So, enjoy. Roll on September.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok

When a plastic knife just won’t do

…. of a plastsic knife? It certainly isn’t to cut food up let me tell you! I’m currently trying to cut a jacket potato in a polystyrene box to no avail. I feel like a lumberjack contestant in the world’s longest tree sawing content. I’ve given up and an gnawing on it like a lump of coal.

Whatever happened to Roy Walker and Catchphrase? I bloody loved that show. Roy Walker’s jokes were awful and the contestants guesses were hilarious!


My Dyson CD39 it's a bit like Sir Killalot!

My Dyson CD39 it’s a bit like Sir Killalot!

I’ve got a Dyson DC39 cylinder vacuum cleaner. I think it secretly watches old Robot Wars episodes because it really wants to be Sir Killalot.

Sir Killalot – what my Dyson really wants to be:

I miss Robot Wars.

It’s really annoying when friends have the same name so no-one knows which one you are talking about. I had two friends called Bev. We were all in the same social circle people constantly asked which Bev you meant. So, Bev number 1 had big boobs, Bev number 2 had a Fiesta. Can you guess how we differentiated? Yep, Bev number 1 was Booby Bev and Bev number 2 was Fiesta Bev!

That got me thinking about all the people who’ve ended up with special names.

Here are some of my personal favourites:

  • Mick the Coat (always wears a huge leather coat regardless of the weather) and Mick the Carpet (is a carpet fitter)
  • One Legged Jim (as in, only has one left) and Spotty Jim (has spots)
  • Chinese Tom (he’s Chinese) Heli Tom (he flies a helicopter)
  • Fibre Glass Phil (he makes boats out of fibre glass) and Limo Phil (he drives a limo)
  • Dive Shop Dave (he works in a dive shop) and Padi Dave (he’s a diving instructor)

Youget the picture. The conversation always seems to start the same as well.

– I saw Phil today’ What Fibre Glass Phil or Limo Phil?

– Fibre Glass Phil.

You never come out and say straight away I saw fibre glass Phil today.

Funny eh? I bet you do it too ;).


Singing, Dancing, Drama, Fun, Laughter .. musicals have it all!

Don’t know about you, but I love a musical.

I don’t mind whether it’s at the theatre or a movie version. When I was creating my list, I started to wonder what consititutes a musical. Apparently, the definition is:

A play or movie in which singing and dancing play an essential part.

Now that’s cleared up here we go with my top 20 – not in any order of preference as that would make my head fall off if I tried to rank them as well. You may think differently of course, I couldn’t possibly comment. Feel free to post yours or disagree ;).

  1. Fiddler on the Roof – best bit
  2. West Side Story
  3. Oliver
  4. Sound of Music
  5. Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
  6. Hairspray
  7. Cabaret
  8. Singin’ in the Rain
  9. My Fair Lady
  10. Grease
  11. The Producers
  12. Annie Get Your Gun
  13. Chorus Line
  14. Phantom of the Opera
  15. Bugsy Malone
  16. South Pacific
  17. Moulin Rouge
  18. Tommy
  19. Rocky Horror Picture Show
  20. Les Miserables

Ok there’s loads I missed off. Then I think some are theatre shows rather than musicals. Also, are some just films with singing in them? Plus, a la Les Miserables – they sing the whole thing. There’s hardly any talking involved! Argghhh it’s a minefield making bloody lists ;).

SF out